The real reason
by sadanimelover
Summary: In new moon Edward leaves Bella because he thinks that's better for her. What if that wasn't the real reason... Sets off after a few months since Edward left'. I do not own Twilight
1. Chapter 1

**When I was at school discussing new moon (again) with my friend I came up with a new story. The real reason why Edward left… **

**The real reason**

**Chapter 1 **

I had loved Him with whole my heart. I loved His voice, scent, character and I still do. But He left, I didn't understand why. Was it because I'm human? Please had taken my soul, I don't need it without you. But instead of my soul He took my heart and broke it into tiny pieces. All those days and nights, obviously it meant nothing to Him.

I cried silently on my bed. I realized that actually, He did take my soul. Just as I asked. He took my soul and made me numb. I felt the tears on my cheek, but it meant nothing. Just a sign that my body was too weak to hold them in. Because after all, there was nothing to cry for anymore.

I needed them, I needed Alice to comfort me. I needed Jasper to make me feel again. I needed Esme, my mother in Forks. Emmet, to say something stupid so I could laugh again. Carlisle, to heal my death body. Even Rosalie, just to prove that they do exist, because no human can be that beautiful. And of course I needed Him, the love of my life. I wanted him to rub my back with his pale and cold hands. To sleep on his hard chest and to see him smile.

I cried, the memory of them making me sick. I ran to the toilet and puked again.

'Why did you leave! Come back please! I need you!' I screamed, forgetting it was two a.m. I heard Charlie come up.

'Honey, are you alright?' he asked while he rubbed my back.

'They're gone… They're gone…'I heard myself whisper.

'Hush Bella. I'll get you some water.'

I felt how my stomach overreacted and threw up again.

Charlie returned a few moments later, but I didn't see him coming into the bathroom.

I woke up the next morning, finding myself in my bed. Charlie must have carried me last night.

I had tried to block Them from my mind, but at night my thoughts were uncontrollable.

I took a shower and brushed my teeth two times to get that awful taste out off my mouth. I ate my cereals and went to school. At least I tried.

'Isabella Swan. I've had enough. I think it's better to go to your mother, to Jacksonville.' Charlie said while he blocked the doorway.

'I'm not going to Jacksonville.' If I wanted to see Them again I absolutely had no chance in Jacksonville.

'Why not? You're just making it worse for yourself. I know it's hard to forget the one you've once loved with whole your heart, but spending your days sobbing in your room just isn't going to help.'

'It is my right to chose where I want to life. I'm eighteen dad, not four! You may even throw me out off the house, but I will not leave Forks.' I said getting very annoyed.

'Bella, you hate Forks.' Charlie stated.

'No I don't, I love Forks.' I lied. 'Do I have to buy a t-shirt with I love Forks to prove it?'

'Bella please, just think about it.'

'I will.' I said while I pushed him aside and climbed into my old Chevy.

The answer is no.

School is easy. Just listen to the teacher and do not get distracted. Only biologics was hard. Not because it was difficult, but because of the memories. I shook my head and tried to concentrate again. In the breaks I would sit alone, somewhere in a corner trying to concentrate on something that wasn't a painful memory.

School was out too soon. Because I didn't want to go back home I went to the local supermarket. Surprisingly I ran into Jacob Black. An old friend of the family. I had met him a few times, always under weird circumstances. I tried not to think about the time I tried to flirt with him to get my information. He had told me what They were…

Jacob walked up to me.

'Hey Bella, you look…' he didn't finish his sentence.

'I know, awful.' I sighted.

'Actually I was going to say beautiful.' he smiled.

I felt a little smile on my lips. For a long time that hadn't happened.

'How is it even possible you grew again?' I said, quickly hopping to an other subject.

He grinned. 'I'm sorry did you say something dwarf? Couldn't hear you from up here.'

I laughed softly.

'So what are you doing here Jake?'

'Just a little shopping. They ran out of cola again at our local store.'

'To bad.' I said.

'And what are you doing here?' he asked.

'Nothing, just not being at home.' I said.

'If you don't want to be at home, why don't you come over to my place?'

'Yeah, sure, why not?' Everything but the numbness.

He smiled and paid at the counter.

We first went to my house to leave a note for Charlie and to park my Chevy. After that I got into Jake's car and we drove to La Push.

Jacob was talking the whole time about everything that had happened at school and in the reservation. I didn't even pretend to be listening because I was really interested.

We were in the reservation in no time. I greeted Billy, who was more than happy to see me again. A little bit too happy.

We took a seat at the bench and watched some lame TV-show about cars. Jacob watched intensely while he talked to me.

I sighted and stood up at six. This day had passed way too quickly.

'Am I annoying you?' Jacob asked

'No absolutely not. But Charlie will soon be home and I have to feed him.' I really didn't want to go home. But I couldn't stay here forever, could I?

'Than I guess I'll have to bring you home.'

At that moment the door swung open and Charlie entered with four large pizza-boxes.

'Mind us staying for dinner, Billy?' He asked.

'Only if you brought tuna.' Billy replied.

Charlie handed Billy a box and grinned. 'How are you my old friend?'

'Who are you calling old? Because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I'm old. I could out run you easily if I had some good legs, but unfortunately the high spirits only gave me a handsome face and you've been blessed with good legs and a face to spit on.'

'Thank you, I really appreciate that.' Charlie said sarcastically.

'Just the truth my friend, just the truth.'

We ate the pizzas at Billy's. Jacob had eaten half of my pizza, his pizza and even a part of Billy's. And after that he was still hungry!

'I don't think it's good to eat so much pizza Jake.' I said while he stuffed another part into his mouth.

'I'm a big man, I have to eat.' He said.

We stayed till the night was at his darkest, but than decided that it was really time to go home. After all, I had to go to school tomorrow.

'So, will I see you again?' I asked.

'Yeah sure. When are you planning to come over again?'

'Maybe tomorrow after school?' I asked with a little hopeful smile on my face.

'Cool!' he said enthusiastic. 'See you tomorrow.'

'Goodbye Jake. Billy.'

I walked to Charlie's police car and we drove home. I saw Charlie smile a few times. Content that I was beginning to pick up my old life again. But as soon as I came home, I felt the numbness coming again. The hole in my chest expanded again as I laid down on my bed and dreamed my most feared nightmare again and again.

**The end of chapter one. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two. Enjoy. **

The days with Jake were awesome, with him around it almost seemed like nothing had ever happened. But when I came home I felt it again. There was no numbness, it was real pain tearing me apart, till it seemed like nothing was left. Every morning I woke up screaming. Charlie didn't even bother to look anymore.

Although I was just bothering Jacob for a week, it seemed like we were best friends for months.

After school I immediately went to La Push. I needed Jake, my personal sun, to light up the darkness inside of me.

I stopped in front of the tiny house, Jacob was already outside, he must have heard the noise of my old Chevy.

'Bella!' He shouted enthusiastic.

'Hey Jake.' I said while I got out off my truck.

'Do you want to take a walk on the beach?' He asked. 'It isn't raining for once.'

'Okay.' I said.

We walked to the beach.

'Since you've gain some weight, I thought it was a good idea to do some exercise, don't you think?'

'Hey! That not true! Besides, you are the one who always eats everything!' I said while I showed him my tongue. But he was right, I was beginning to get fat. I already had a small belly.

'But I'm still as wealthy as a horse, except for you who has this!' He said while he poked in my belly.

'Knock it off Jacob! I screamed while I tried to run away, but of course I had to trip. Sand covered my face, but we both laughed. He helped me to get up and got the sand out off my hair. I coughed to get the sand out off my mouth, but it didn't work.

'Maybe we should go home, than you can have a glass of water.'

'I would like that, steroid boy.' I joked.'

'What do you mean?'

'Haven't you seen yourself? You've gotten some great muscles and you're very, very long.'

'I'm not taking steroids, this is the real me. Do you like it?' Jacob asked with a very serious face.

'Yeah, you're actually kind of beautiful.' Damn, did I really say that? Stupid me and my uncloseable mouth.

'You've bumped your head pretty hard haven't you?' He asked.

Than I saw them, four boys. They were standing on a high cliff and threw one of the boys in the water.

'Jacob did you see that, we have to call an ambulance!' I shouted.

Jacob turned around quickly, but he relaxed as soon as he knew what I had seen.

'That's nothing Bella, just a few guys trying to show how brave they are.' Something in his voice told me that he didn't like them.

'Oh, do you know these boys?'

'Yes, they're from the reservation. They're all in Sam's cult.'

'What do you mean with cult? Wait, isn't that Embry?'

'Yes, he joined them a few days ago. This cult, they say that they protect the tribe, but they just hang around giving me strange looks. I'm afraid I'll be next.' He said while he looked sad.

'Oh Jake.' I said while I hugged him. 'What does your dad say about this?'

'He says that this is good, he even supports them, just like the other elders.'

I hugged him even tighter. 'You can always sleep at my place on the couch.'

'Bella, I have to tell you something.' Jacob said.

'What is it?' I asked.

'I… I really, really like you. And I…' He stopped talking and kissed me on my mouth.

At first I tried to stop him, but when that didn't work I just stood there and let him kiss me. He had very soft lips, his kiss was tender and lovely. Than something broke within me. I kissed him back. I loved him, I really loved him!

When we broke apart gasping for air he finally finished his sentence: 'Love you.'

'Jake, I love you too!' I said finally feeling real emotions again.

I kissed him again and he eagerly kissed back. After that he lifted me up and carried me to his house.

'Had a nice time?' Billy asked when he saw his son's face.

'Yeah.' Jacob grinned.

I looked at the clock, it was time to go home and prepare dinner.

'I really have to go home.' I sighted.

'I will bring you to your truck.' Jake said while he followed me.

I got into my truck and we gave each other a farewell kiss. I saw Billy looking from behind the curtains, but I didn't care. But there was one thing that had bothered me the whole day since I had hugged Jake. When I had hugged him he had been really warm, but now he was just hot.

'Jake, do you have a fever or something? You feel really hot.' I asked concerned .

'Yeah actually I am not feeling too well for a while, I'm sorry if you catch it.' He said.

'You'll get the bill.' I said while I started the engine and drove away.

At home I put the chicken in the oven and made a simple salad. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I walked to my room and opened the window. The rocking chair was the first to go down. It had to much memories of the vampire I never wanted to see again. 'That you may go to hell and suffer for eternity, Edward!' I screamed. Everything that carried a memory of him was thrown out. While I was throwing the old quilt out where Edward had rolled me in every night, someone knocked on my door.

'Are you alright, honey?' Charlie asked while he came in.

'Yeah, just throwing some stuff away. I needed some more space.' I lied.

'You could have just carried them down.' He said.

'I'm sorry dad. Oh, almost forgot dinner.' I said while I ran down.

'Teenagers…' I heard my dad sigh, but he followed me down.

We ate in silence, as always.

'May I please go out dad? I want to bring the mess I've made to the dump.'

'Yeah sure.' He said while he already was walking to the television.

I put the stuff in my Chevy and drove away, but I wasn't going to the dump. A few minutes later I was at the road in the woods. I searched for the right exit and found it. I drove through the forest and wondered if I had taken the right exit when I saw it. The huge white house.

The house was empty, but the door was locked. I looked inside and saw the little platform where Edward's piano had stood on. I wanted the house to go away and never return, I wanted Edward to never return after what he had done to me.

I put all my stuff on the veranda and made a flame come out off my lighter. Than I threw it to the house. Immediately a little fire was made. It grew greater and greater, but than I knew I had made a terrible mistake. The threes would also catch the fire. I didn't know what to do so I called the only one I could really trust, Jacob.

'Hello?'

'Jake? It's me Bella, I really need your help.'

'I'm sorry, I'm not able to help you right know.' He said, the fever must have taken control, he sounded so terrible.

'Please I don't know what to do. I am burning the old house of the Cullens and it's in the middle off the woods and please help me.' I asked desperate

'I'll see what I can do.' He said.

I tried to kill the fire by stepping on it, but it only grew bigger and bigger. I tried to extinguish the fire with water from the river, but I couldn't carry that much. I was just about to call the alarm number when four men came out off the forest. They were the four men who were cliff diving at the beach a few hours ago. The cult.

'Bella,' The eldest spoke, I knew him, it was Sam. 'Why don't you just go home, we will take care of this.'

'You're sure?' I asked. I wanted to do something.

'Yes, go home.' Embry said.

'Do I have to call 911?' I asked.

'No thank you Bella, we can handle this.' Sam said.

I went into my pick-up and drove home. At home I did my homework to concentrate on something else, after that was done I even tried to watch a baseball match with Charlie, but I was distracted too easily. I decided that I would go to La Push in half an hour. When I would arrive there two hours had passed since I started the fire. I didn't want to disturb Jake, I hope he would get well soon.

Finally it was late enough, I grabbed my coat and keys and went outside.

'Where are you going?' Charlie asked.

'La Push, I've forgotten something.' I lied.

'Can't you go tomorrow? It's already very late.' Charlie asked a bit annoyed.

'Nope.' I said and closed the door. As fast as I could I drove to La Push. When I arrived I saw Sam. He was standing in front of Jacob's house.

As quickly as possible I walked to him. 'How is the fire?'

'It's extinguished, although there's not much left of the house.'

'But that doesn't matter.' A tall boy with short hair said.

Sam looked at the boy, like he had said something he wasn't allowed to.

'I'm so sorry, I'm just so stupid at some times.'

'Doesn't matter Bella, but you should go home now, it's getting late and Jake is sleeping.'

'Thank you Sam.'

Although Jake didn't like him and his cult, I did. Although they acted strangely, they were really good protectors. Just when I wanted to start the engine I heard a scream. I got out immediately and ran to Jacob, knowing the scream was his.

Sam ran inside while Embry and the other boy waited outside. Soon also Billy was brought outside.

'Billy what's wrong?'

'Nothing Bella, just go home.' He answered like he didn't care at all about his son. I did so I walked inside. Well, at least I tried. Embry and the other boy didn't let me in.

'Let me in, I do care about my friend.' I hissed.

'I Don't think so, since this is all your fault!' The boy said.

'Paul, shut up!' Embry spoke.

Another scream was heard and while the boys and Billy were distracted I took my chance and got inside. In the living room was this great animal, a huge brown wolf. Sam was trying to calm it down while the monster groaned.

Than Sam saw me. 'Embry! Paul! Get the girl outside! Now!' he demanded.

They came inside and pulled my arms.

'Where is Jacob?' I screamed. 'What have you done to him?'

Paul lifted me up and dragged me outside.

'Let go of me. You monster!'

Paul released me harsh so I landed on the wet forest floor. He began to shake uncontrollably all over.

'Relax Paul.' Embry said.

'The only monsters are those bloodsucking bastards you love so much, you idiot!' Than he… exploded. Clothes flew all over the place and where a few seconds ago Paul stood, was now another huge wolf. He growled at me, I almost wet my pants.

'Paul!' The voice vibrated trough the air with much strength.

The wolf bowed down and laid his hands on his nose.

'Get yourself some clothes.' Sam demanded. The wolf ran away.

'Should I follow him?' Embry asked.

'Yes please.' Sam said.

Embry also shook and changed into a wolf.

'You could have followed him without turning into a wolf.' Sam said angrily.

He said 'I'm sorry' with his big brown wolf eyes and ran after Paul.

'You see Bella,' Billy began. 'In this tribe…'

'Hey Bells.' Jacob interrupted shyly.

'What is all this? I don't understand. Jacob?'

'Do you know those stories about werewolves? That's sort of what we are.'

'Werewolves? Damn, there's really nothing normal in this place, is there?' I asked while I wondered if there were also witches and faeries.

'No, I guess not.' Jake said.

'I'm tired Jake, I got to think about this. Can I come to you tomorrow?' I asked.

'Sure, sure.' Jacob answered.

He walked towards me and kissed me. 'Please say you do still love me.' he begged.

'How can I possibly not Jake?' I said while I kissed him back.

The boy behind Sam made throwing up sounds while we finally broke apart.

'Later.' I said and drove away into the night.

**The end of chapter two. **


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